Investing in experiences provides more lasting joy than material goods because experiences are more likely to foster social connection, which is a critical driver of happiness. Whether it is a vacation, a concert, or an obstacle race like Tough Mudder, experiences typically involve interacting with others, creating a sense of community and camaraderie that material objects rarely provide.
Beyond social benefits, the sources highlight several psychological mechanisms that make experiences superior investments for long-term well-being:
1. Immunity to Comparison Material goods suffer from the “comparison trap.” It is easy to align the concrete features of a TV or a car against a newer model, leading to buyer’s remorse when a better version inevitably appears. In contrast, experiences are unique and abstract; comparing a trip to Bali against a trip to Florida is like comparing “apples to oranges”. Because experiences elude easy comparison, they “inoculate” us against the regret often associated with material purchases.
2. The “Rosy View” of Memory While we quickly adapt to material possessions—they simply fade into the background of our lives—experiences tend to get better in our memory over time. Even experiences that were unpleasant in the moment, such as a rainy camping trip or a grueling hike, often become “sweet to remember” in hindsight. Research shows that while satisfaction with material purchases decreases over time, satisfaction with experiential purchases tends to increase.
3. Connection to Identity Experiences are more deeply closely linked to our sense of who we are. When people map their purchases in relation to their “self,” they place experiences much closer to their core identity than material goods. Because experiences provide better stories and contribute to our “experiential CV,” they help define us in a way that designer purses or watches cannot. People are even less willing to trade their memories of experiences than they are to trade material possessions, because losing those memories feels like losing a part of themselves.
How can even negative experiences create a sense of nostalgia?
Based on the sources, negative or unpleasant experiences can create a sense of nostalgia and lasting satisfaction through several psychological mechanisms that alter how we view events in hindsight:
1. The “Rosy View” of Memory Human memory acts like a kaleidoscope that tends to filter out immediate annoyances while retaining positive meaning. In one study involving a three-week bicycle trip, 61 percent of students reported disappointment during the trip due to rain and mosquitoes. However, after the trip, only 11 percent felt disappointed; the physical misery faded, and participants focused on the social connections, noting that the complaining seemed “silly” compared to the memory of “making a lot of great friends”. This phenomenon validates the Roman philosopher Seneca’s observation that “Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember”.
2. Building the “Experiential CV” Unpleasant experiences often contribute uniquely to our sense of identity and our “life story,” or what the authors call the “experiential CV”. People will often choose uncomfortable options—such as sleeping in sub-zero temperatures at the Ice Hotel in Sweden—over comfortable ones (like a Marriott) specifically because the hardship makes the experience more memorable and distinctive. For those who view time as a resource to be used productively, enduring unpleasantness is desirable because it adds a compelling line to their experiential résumé.
3. Immunity to Regret Unlike material goods, which are easy to compare (leading to regret if a product is flawed), experiences are unique and abstract. This quality inoculates us against buyer’s remorse; even if a vacation had negative aspects (like the “tiger shark” attack mentioned in a different context or the rainy bike trip), the uniqueness of the event allows us to cherish the memory rather than comparing it unfavorably to what “could have been”.
Why do material goods make us less happy over time?
Material goods make us less happy over time primarily due to habituation, a fundamental barrier to lasting pleasure where the more we are exposed to something, the more its impact diminishes. Humans are adaptable creatures; while a new home or car provides an initial spike in satisfaction, we quickly get used to these stable improvements, and they fail to improve our overall happiness in the long run. This adaptation occurs because our emotional system functions less like a thermometer—which constantly registers the absolute temperature—and more like a “cheerometer,” which is highly sensitive to change but eventually resets,. Once the novelty of a material purchase wears off, the “spotlight of attention” moves on to other things, and the possession simply becomes part of the background,.
Furthermore, material goods often fail to provide lasting joy because they are highly susceptible to the comparison trap. Unlike experiences, which are unique and abstract (making them like “apples and oranges”), material goods like TVs or cars have concrete features that are easy to align and compare against superior models. This comparability creates vulnerability to “buyer’s remorse,” as we are often happy with things only until we discover there are better things available,. Consequently, research shows that while satisfaction with experiential purchases tends to increase with the passage of time, satisfaction with material purchases typically decreases.